A chance to visit a place probably/hopefully unique in the whole universe.



Greeks are not so much motivated in their day to day lives as compelled. Their second major compulsion is food.
(The first is probably yinaiges Pl. Type 2)
The quantities of food consumed by the average Greek can only be described as prodigious.
Their dietary input may be divided into three groups for your convenience.


Group one - Traditional food.
Dishes indigenous to the region but in common with most traditional dishes frequently poached from further afield.
For example, souvla or the smaller souvlagia. This is pork or lamb cooked over charcoal and an Arab dish but venturing this heretical opinion is unwise. Having said that, sticking bits of dead animal over a fire to make it easier to chew is probably a fairly universal concept.
Afelia, which is pork cooked in red wine.
Bourkouri, bulgar wheat cooked with onion and tomato, served with yoghourt.
Macaronia al fourno, layers of thick pasta interlarded with pork mince and topped with cheese sauce.

All of these dishes have two distinguishing factors:
1. They are undeniably delicious. Truly excellent.
2. One serving is equivalent to the calorie and cholesterol intake of an entire Ethiopian village for five years.


Based on this combination, dietitians do not go on holiday to Cyprus unless they really want their faith seriously challenged.


Group two - Fast food.
Poor quality copies of fast food restaurants seen in the west. Pizzas like biscuits, soggy fried chicken and a variety of hamburgers that should come supplied with an anti emetic*. A variety of bastardized group one foods are also available form shops called psistaria from the Greek psino (I cook).
These disservices to tourism should be avoided unless a dose of salmonella typhi is desired as a trick to avoid going home at the time appointed by your ticket.
Caution – involvement with insurance-milking clinics may be a possible complication of this course of action. Be very careful and remember that if necessary a claim of having undergone a miraculous cure as you leap from the ambulance will probably be reluctantly believed if you look radiant enough.


Group three – Fashionable food.
These are items that are very big among the trendier or more fashionable who refer to them by code words based on poor pronunciation of English/American names and abbreviations.
For example Hud – Pizza Hut, Macdonal – McDonalds, Keyhefsee – K.F.C. for Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Only in Cyprus (and possibly Uganda)is junk food still considered fashionable.

The best course in brief is finding a decent restaurant and staying traditional then checking into a health farm on you return home, unless you have a kolpo (Cerebro-Vascular Accident alias stroke) in the meanwhile.
Likewise heart attacks or colloquially anakopes are very popular in Cyprus.
Based on a high calorie, low fibre, high cholesterol diet in an area where smoking tria paketa (three packets totalling 60 cigarettes) a day is socially acceptable, many people have the chance to experience one at least briefly in spite of the benefits on the Mediterranean diet.
*A group of medications that suppress the urge to vomit. Prochlorperazine is a good choice, as it tends to be slightly sedating thus you take it and then decide to stay home and go to bed.