A chance to visit a place probably/hopefully unique in the whole universe.

A moped or motor cycle. 

 

These ubiquitous death traps generally fall into one of two groups.

 

1. The bedraggled, slow moving, mechanically unsafe wrecks driven strait across or down the middle of the road by old age pensioners with terrifyingly little road sense and no concept of personal injury. A female relative of the rider will frequently ride side-saddle behind the driver and distract him by talking loudly if indeed she can be heard over the engine.
The reason for this is assumed to be an effort to take his mind of the stupendous risks he takes crossing road junctions without looking and challenging oncoming othigous (pl.) of any size of vehicle for their side of the road.
The police tend to leave this group alone since their natural span is (usually) so close to expiring, why criticise their impatience?

 

 2. The supercharged, stripped down, no exhaust baffles kamikaze riders of 14 years old and above - with no concept of personal injury and terrifyingly little road sense.
These mindless youths apparently want to die - ideally in a flambéd soggy mess of flesh and petrol - by "cutting up" anything on the road, accelerating violently into blind corners, a total lack of protective clothing including shoes  or else performing "wheelies" at 100 kph in front of lorries or fifty seater tourist coaches with an enthusiasm verging on the demented.  If they manage to take you with them, all the better.
Since these super-bikes are often purchased by the families of the “children” then modified with that families full knowledge and consent, they may be intended as an attempt at some form of postnatal abortion. An alternative interpretation is an attempt at parental mangoscini by proxy. 

The police tend to leave this group alone on the basis that under the age of 18 there is nothing they can do, and over that age informed consent may be argued in the case of such blatantly self-destructive acts.  In cases where the police do intervene, the friends of the dangerous loon they are attempting to save from himself will intervene furiously arguing that the actions of the police constitute a risk to the well-being of the idiot in question - much as the friends of a suicide bomber might seek to protect their friend from the health dangers of his heavy smoking before sending him out on a mission.


Strangely, when their offspring are inevitably killed or injured the cry goes up from the parents "Theeh - YIADI;" or "God – WHY?" despite the fact that passing five vehicles at 180 kph and two on the passenger side at that, on a blind corner downhill with no helmet would suggest an obvious answer to the query even if it had not been raining that night - unless, of course, it is the rain they are questioning.

 

Tourists are frequently encouraged to hire these death traps (usually type 1 as above) allegedly for reasons of economy. The temptation should be resisted as the economy they are referring to is the local economy which they are attempting to improve by the employment of local private "ambulances", clinics funeral parlours and freight services (for sending the sendoojie* home) by exploiting the individual tourists’ health insurance as a copious source of foreign currency.

 

 *Coffin

Motora