A chance to visit a place probably/hopefully unique in the whole universe.




Tourism has existed for as long as people have been able to travel. The narrative of Marco Polo in the 13th century; the British aristocracy's "grand tour" of Europe in the 18th century; and the journeys of Victorian explorer David Livingstone through Africa in the 19th century are all examples of early tourism.
Thomas Cook is popularly regarded as the founder of inclusive tours when he chartered a train in 1841 to transport tourists from Loughborough to Leicester

The dawn of high volume Cypriot tourism was paradoxically after the 1974 Turkish invasion that rendered half of the island inaccessible. This industry was and is the cornerstone of the Cypriot economy contributing 45% of the national product.

Tourism is marginally different in Cyprus, however.
In most places it is a multi-factorial service industry providing for the visiting tourist - in Cyprus it is more like a giant mangle for wringing every last drop of cash from the visiting tourist up to and including their health insurance whilst assuming that free access to wives, daughters and any other females constitutes a obligation on the part of the tourist in the face of this lavish Cypriot hospitality.

The Cyprus Tourism Organisation - at time of writing - requires that 25 cent tins of soft drink are sold at C£1.50 for a half-tin glass and an ice cream is anywhere from C£2.50.
A Jet Ski at a resort beach is C£30 for fifteen minutes, and parascending is said to require a mortgage. Revising this article post-Euro has changed nothing other than the name of the currency involved - one year beer was £1 a pint for the local brews and the next year it was two Euros.  A 30 cent price hike.

This unfortunate tendency to beat the goose over the head with a topoozi until it lays more golden eggs only bigger is a questionable business practice at best, especially since at this time the goose is currently thoroughly concussed and seems to have moved to Ibiza anyway.


It has been argued that the unofficial policy of Cyprus with reference to tourists is:


  • That they should file off of the plane in an orderly fashion.

  • Leave all their cash and travellers' cheques at passport control.

  • Push off home in order to recommend the island of Aphrodite to all their friends without subjecting its inhabitants to the inconvenience of their presence.